禧月阁月子会所加盟:一篇课后短文练习，写了下，估计错少不了。麻烦大家忙时候帮偶查查错，尽量能标出为何错了，谢谢！

Hello Peter
---Dear Peter,
英文信件格式,用`"Dear"开头,人名后要加逗号

I’m glad that you are my new pen-friend. Let me tell you something about my self
---(myself,没有空格) and my hobbies.
Firstly
---(First), Please allow me
---( to,动词不定式,要加 to) introduce myself. My name is LiMing and my good friends always call me xiaoR, In fact, it’s my nickname. I hope you can call me xiaoR(,) too. Though we are only pen-friend(s), I think we will be good friend(s) before long.
(Here Ineed a connecting word, make sentence comfortable, but I don’t should write?
---(I need a connecting word to make nice sentences.But I don't know what I should write)
I will be 22 years old in two weeks. At present, I’m still an undergraduate, but I’ll graduate next year.
Secondly(second), Let we talk about my hobby. My hobby is a lot
---( I have a lot of hobbies).
Such as listening music, watching TV, playing games, playing chess, etc.
--( I like to listen to music, watch TV, play games, play chess etc.,)
But I like sports rather than the others hobby.
---(I like sports better than other hobbies.)Especially is football .
---(Football is my favorite sport.)
(I don’t know if can say it), I’m good at it. You know? I attended baiduibei(百队杯) before 2004! At present I’m a normal member at my school. By the way, There is a piece of large ground to the east of my home.
Its area is enough 100*80 meters!
---It is 100x80 meters.
It’s cool!
So I must be playing football with my friends two or three times a month at lot.
---I usually play football with my friends two or three times a month.
Otherwise, I used to make plane model, but I don’t any more time now.
---At other times, I make plane models. I don't have any more time now.
Finally what kind of sport do you like?
---Finally,what kind of sports do you like?
Are you a football fan, aren’t you?
---You are a football fan, aren't you?
What are you doing in your spare time?
---What do you do in your spare time?
Expect you hear
---Look forward to your reply soon.(I don’t know if can say it).

Yours truly(,)
LiMing
改了很多小问题,不知你是否看得明白.

Hello Peter

I’m glad that you are my new pen-friend. Let me tell you something about my self(myself) and my hobbies.
Firstly, Please allow me introduce myself. My name is LiMing and my good friends always call me xiaoR, In fact, it’s my nickname. I hope you can call me xiaoR(Litter R) too. Though we are only pen-friend(friends), I think we will be good friend before long. (Here need a connecting word, make sentence comfortable, but I don’t should write?) I will be 22 years old in two weeks. At present, I’m still an undergraduate, but I’ll graduate next year.
Secondly, Let we talk about my hobby(hobbies). My hobby is a lot.(I have a lot of hobbies) Such as listening (to) music, watching TV, playing games, playing chess, etc. But I like sports rather than the others(') hobby(hobbies). Especially is football (I don’t know if can say it), I’m good at it. You know? I attended baiduibei(百队杯)(100 Teams Cup or Baidui Cup) before 2004! At present I’m a normal member at my school. By the way, There is a piece of large ground to the east of my home. Its area is enough 100*80 meters! It’s cool! So I must be playing(can play) football with my friends two or three times a month at lot. Otherwise, I used to make plane model, but I don’t any more time now.
Finally what kind of sport(sports) do you like? Are you a football fan, aren’t you? What are you doing in your spare time? Expect you hear(I don’t know if can say it). (Look forward to your letter)

括号是我改的

I'm glad that you have become my new pen-friend. Let me tell you something about myself and hobbies. First of all, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Li Ming and my good friends always call me xiaoR. In fact, it's my nickname. I hope you can call me xiaoR, too. Though we are only pen-friends, I think we will be good friends before long.( Here this sentence needs a conjuction which makes the it comfortable, but shouldn't I write?) I will be 22 years old in two weeks. At present, I'm still an undergraduate, but I'll finish next year.
Second, let's talk about my hobbies. I have plenty of hobbies such as listening music, watching TV, playing games and chess and so on(没见过在书信里面看到ETC的~~）。But I prefer sports to other hobbies. Especially football ( I don't know if I can write like this), I'm good at it, you know? I attended Bai Dui Cup before 2004! Now(还来at present？烦不烦啊？）, I'm a common(normal和abnormal相对，正常和不正常） member in my school。 By the way, there is a piece of large ground located to the east of my home. Its area is enough 8000 square meters(立方就用cube）! It's cool! So I must play football with my friends two or three times a month (at lot? 没听说过). （Otherwise?否则？）In addition, I was used to make plane model, but I don't do any more now. Finally, what kind of sport do you like? Are you a football fan? (aren't you?干什么啊？）What do you often do during your free time? I expect you can read.

yours sincerely, honestly(干什么用truly?)
Li Ming
滥用词组的现象比较多哦，要注意~~ 部分语法错误。注意句子结构

1.my self （这个应该合着写:myself)
2.allow me introduce （allow sb. to do:allow me to introduce）
3.LiMing（这个应该分开写：Li Ming)
4.Though we are only pen-friend(应是：pen-friends)
5.I think we will be good friend before long(同样的错误：friends,而且把“be”改为"become"更好些）
6.Secondly, Let we talk about my hobby（let首字母小写，应该是let's或let me,let后用宾格，为了呼应你第一段所写的，hobby应改为hobbies更好些）
7.My hobby is a lot（这句话不对，可以改为：I have a lot of hobbies.)
8.listening music(应是：listening to music)
9. the others hobby( the other hobbies)
10.Especially is football (I don’t know if can say it), I’m good at it(去掉"is",而且括号里的句子应婉转一些，比如：I'm not sure if can say like that.)
11. I attended (改为I once took part in."attend"多指参加会议）
12.There is a piece of large ground to the east of my home.（这句话怎么那么别扭，我不知具体哪错了，要使我的话我会写：To the east of my home ,there is an area which is very large)
13.Its area is enough 100*80 meters!(It's 8000 square meters in area.)
14.So I must be playing football with my friends two or three times a month at lot. (这句话这么写不好，因果关系没有强到用so的地步：In order to make full use of the area,I always play football with my friends two or three times a month.我不知道at lot什么意思，是不是要说“至少”，可以用"at least",这个我真不知道）
15.航模可以说“model airplane”
16.but I don’t any more time now. (可以说：I don't have much more time now.或：I don't have time to do that any more)
17.Finally的意思不可以用在这里
18. Are you a football fan, aren’t you?（如果要用反意疑问句，可以说： You're a football fan, aren’t you?)
19.What are you doing in your spare time?(这里不用进行时：What do you do in your spare time?)
20.Expect you hear(什么意思？是不是要问“除了听一些东西之外还干什么？”如果是，可以这么说：Except listening to something,what else do you do in your spare time?)
21.LiMing(同样的错误Li Ming）

Dear Peter,
I’m very glad to be your pen-pal. I want to tell you about myself.
My name is Li Ming, but my friends always call me Xiao R as my nickname. Feel free to call me Xiao R too. Though we are only new pen-pals, I think we will be good friends very soon. I will be 22 in two weeks, how about you? I’m in college right now and will graduate next summer.
I have a lot of hobbies, such as listening to music, playing chess, and playing all kinds of sports; I like sports over all the others. Soccer is my favorite sport and I’m best at it. I was in the Hundred Teams Cup before 2004 and I really enjoyed it. At present I’m a member in my university team.
There is a large play ground to the east of my home, which is a 100m*80m field. It is so cool that I can play soccer with my friends at least three times a month in the field. I used to fly model planes there when I was younger, but not any more.
So, Peter, What kind of sports do you play? Are you a soccer fan yourself? How do you spend your spare time? I’m so eager to hear from you now!
Looking forward to your reply.

Yours truly,
Li Ming

i like the last version !