中船重工12所:翻译《普鲁弗洛克情歌》

平素还是很喜欢艾略特的诗歌的, 不过他的诗十分难译, 即使一篇比较简单的<情歌>我已经看过四个版本了, 可没有完美无缺的. 无奈之余只好亲自动手, 自己做一个本子, 以我个人的资历当然不能和几个译界前辈相提并论, 不过我努力查了些资料, 尽量做到(1)韵脚严格(2) 意义准确. 其中又以前者为重. 至于前几个版本的可榷之处,将另开新帖讨论. 希望各位高手指教.

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
杰.阿尔弗雷德.普鲁佛洛克的情歌

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.
“若吾以为汝将生返阳界, 则吾将无以为答;
若吾闻属实, 则吾无名誉之忧矣, 而将答汝.“

Let us go then, you and I,
让我们走吧,我和你
When the evening is spread out against the sky
当夜色蔓延直到达天际
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
像个麻醉了的病人躺在手术台上
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
让我们走, 穿过某些半是萧索的街路
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
不安的夜暮
咕哝消散在便宜的“一夜“旅店
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
和满是牡蛎壳,散落锯屑的餐馆
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
相连的街道仿佛一场冗长的争辩
Of insidious intent
用心奸险
To lead you to an overwhelming question ...
把你引向无法抗拒的问题...
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?“
噢, 不要问,“这是什么?“
Let us go and make our visit.
让我们走, 去做我们的客.
(韵脚a,ab; c,cdd:eef...gg.)

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.
房间里的女人们来去如梭
谈论着米来朗基罗

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
黄色的浓雾在窗格玻璃上蹭它的背,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,
黄色的轻烟在窗格玻璃上擦它的嘴,
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
舌头轻舔入夜晚的角落,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
逗留在排污沟中的潦水,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
让它的背上落满烟囱飘下的煤烟,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
沿着阳台滑落, 又做突然一跳,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
因为这个温柔的十月夜晚,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.
围着屋子绕了一圈, 然后睡着.
(韵脚: a,a,b,a,c,d,e,d)

And indeed there will be time
事实上会有时间
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
让黄色的烟沿着街道滑走
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
在窗格玻璃上蹭它的背;
There will be time, there will be time
将会有时间,将会有时间
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
去准备一张面孔去会见你要相见的面孔;
There will be time to murder and create,
将会有时间去谋杀和创造,
And time for all the works and days of hands
有时间使得从事所有工作和时日的手
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
在你的盘子里拿起又放下一个问题;
Time for you and time for me,
对于你还有时间, 对于我还有时间,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
仍有时间做一百次犹豫不定,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
做一百次幻想和修正,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
在用一片吐司和茶之前.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.
房间里的女人们来去如梭
谈论着米来朗基罗

And indeed there will be time
事实上会有时间
To wonder, “Do I dare?“ and, “Do I dare?“
去怀疑,“我是否敢于?“ “我是否敢于?“
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
有时间转回身走下楼梯
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--
我的头发中间有一块秃地
(They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!“)
(他们会说:“ 他的头发多么稀啊!“)
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
我的晨礼服, 我的领子紧托着下巴,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--
我的领带华贵而和体, 但只用一枚简单的别针固定它--
(They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!“)
(他们会说:“但他的胳膊和腿多么细啊!“)
Do I dare
我是否敢于
Disturb the universe?
扰乱这个宇宙空间?
In a minute there is time
在一分钟里会有时间
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
去做一个决定和修订,好在下一分钟里推翻.

For I have known them all already, known them all:
因为我已经彻底了解她们, 彻底了解她们:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
熟知那些夜晚,清晨,下午,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
我已经把我的生活用咖啡匙量出;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
我知道那些垂死的声音
Beneath the music from a farther room.
随着从更远房间飘出的音乐渐去.
So how should I presume?
那么我又怎能冒昧?
And I have known the eyes already, known them all--
我已经彻底了解那些眼睛, 彻底了解它们--
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
这些眼睛用一个公式化的短语把你钉死,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
当我被公式化了, 趴在一枚别针上,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
让我被钉在墙上扭动不休,
Then how should I begin
那么我该怎样开始
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
好吐出我的日子和习惯的全部烟蒂?
And how should I presume?
那我我又怎能冒昧?
And I have known the arms already, known them all--
我已经彻底了解那些手臂,彻底了解它们
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
那些戴着手镯的手臂, 白色裸露
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
(但在灯光之下,到处是淡棕色的绒毛! )
Is it perfume from a dress
是衣服上的香气
That makes me so digress?
使得我如此离题?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
那些搁在桌子上的手臂, 或是围着一条围巾.
And should I then presume?
那么我能冒昧吗?
And how should I begin?
那么我该怎样开始?
* * * *
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
我是否会说, 我在薄暮中穿过狭窄的街道
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? ...
注视着穿有袖衬衫的孤独男人
斜倚在窗前, 烟气从烟斗中升起? ...

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
我应当成为一双粗糙的爪子
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
匆匆刮过寂静的海底.
* * * *
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
在这下午,这夜晚, 睡眠如此安然!
Smoothed by long fingers,
被修长的手指抚平,
Asleep ... tired ... or it malingers,
熟睡...疲劳...或是装病,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
在地板上伸展肢体, 在你和我身边.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
我是否, 在用过茶,点心和冰淇淋之后,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
能有力量把这个瞬间推向它的决定关头?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
尽管我哭泣过斋戒过,哭泣过祈祷过,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
尽管我看见我的头(已经微微秃了)盛在盘子里带到,
I am no prophet--and here抯 no great matter;
我不是先知--不过这也无关紧要 ;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
我已经看到了我的伟大时刻闪耀,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
我已经看到永恒的男仆拿着我的外套, 并且傻笑
And in short, I was afraid.
总之, 我害怕.
(韵脚: a,b,b,a.c,c? d,d, e,e; f,f, g.)

And would it have been worth it, after all,
而且这是否值得去做,说到底,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
在杯子,果酱和茶之后
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
在瓷器之间, 在关乎你我的言谈之俦
Would it have been worth while,
它是否值得,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
把这个事件带着微笑咬后,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
把这个宇宙挤进一个球
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
把它滚向一些无法抗拒的问题,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
说:“我是拉撒路,来自地府“
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all“--
回来告诉你所有, 我要告诉你所有“--
If one, settling a pillow by her head,**
如果那人, 头后摆着一个枕头,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all;
说:“那根本不是我的意思“
That is not it, at all.“
那不是,根本不是
(这一段的韵脚笔者无法做到对应,而且为了用韵使得言词生涩)

And would it have been worth it, after all,
说到底,这是否值得
Would it have been worth while,
它是否值得,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
在落日,庭院,洒扫的大街之后
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor--
在小说, 茶杯, 曳地长裙之后
And this, and so much more?--
在这, 还有更多?--
It is impossible to say just what I mean I
想要说出我的意思那决不可能!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
除非一盏幻灯把神经图案投影在银屏:
Would it have been worth while
它是否值得
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
如果那人, 摆上一个枕头或是扔下一条围巾,
And turning toward the window, should say:
一边转向窗户, 说道:
“That is not it at all,
那根本不是
That is not what I meant, at all.“
那根本不是我的意思.
* * * *
No I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
不, 我不是哈姆雷特王子, 也无意为之;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
我是个侍从廷臣, 一个适合
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
在王家队伍里充数, 应景一二,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
给王子提些建议; 无疑, 是个顺手的工具,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
温良恭顺, 乐于被征询,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
精明,谨慎, 还有细心乖巧;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
满腹高谈阔论,不过有点愚钝;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous--
有时,的确, 几乎荒谬可笑--
Almost, at times, the Fool.
几乎,有时, 就是痴愚.
(韵脚是a;bb,c,d,e;d;e--c.)

I grow old ... I grow old ...
我老了... 我老了...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
我该把裤脚卷起了.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
我该把头发向后分吗? 我敢去吃桃子吗?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
我将穿着白色法兰绒裤子, 漫步在海滩上.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
我听到美人鱼在歌唱, 彼此歌唱.

I do not think that they will sing to me.
我想她们将不会我而唱.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
我看见她们骑着波浪奔向大海
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
把吹回的波浪的白色头发梳开
When the wind blows the water white and black.
当风把海水吹得又黑又白.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
我们流连在大海的卧室中
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
身边是海女们环着红色棕色的海草花饰
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
直到人类的声音惊醒我们, 我们就溺死.