武汉521路漂移:我孩子的自我介绍

写的不错！稍微修改了下：
Hi, I'm a gril of 10 years old.I'm a very happy girl.
I like Zhangfan and Liucengceng.They're my best friends .
I like running and swimming. I can swim very fast and also run very fast.
But I can't jump very high or far
My bed is very big. There are Toy dog、Toy elephant and toy bear on my bed.
My mother likes listening to music,my father likes watching TV.And I like readig books
That's all, Thank you!

my friends. 复数要加s
like后面是doing的形式
can't A or B 而不是用and
第三人称单数动词要加s
看书是read不是ride
基本就这些

They are my freinds.
I like running and swimming.
My bed is very big.
Toy dog toy elephant and toy beas are on the bed.
My mother likes listening to music.
My father likes watching TV.
And I like reading books.
我语法也不是很好
被这位家长感动~

先修改一下:Hi!I'm a gril.I'm very happy!:)I like Zhangfan and Liucengceng.They're my friends.
I like run and swim,I can swim and run very fast.I can't jump high and jump far.
I'm bed very big,Toy dog、Toy elephant and toy bear on the bed.
My mother like listen to music,my father like watch TV.And I like ride a book.
Good bye!!!!!
1 myfriend--改成my friends
2 I like run and swim--改成I like running and swimming
3 I can't jump high --改成I can't jump highly
4 I'm bed--改成my bed
5 Toy dog、Toy elephant and toy bear on the bed.--改成Toy dog、Toy elephant and toy bear are on the bed
6 ride a book--改成read books

小小年纪就能努力学习写作文，首先要表扬一下。但是没学过语法，很多内容表达不清晰，或出现语法错误。孩子想要表达的内容很多，反而自顾不暇。如果想写自己呢，还可以多写一点自己的爱好，看过什么书，在那个学校学习，住在什么地方等等。或者丰富一下小伙伴或父母的内容，比如，他们高不高？长得好不好看？和你在什么地方一起玩过，玩过什么？

多加联系，以后一定会成才的！

你是一个好家长。
虽然写得不是很标准
但还是勉强能看懂
好像有几处应该用ing形式