河婆话:谁告诉我个幽默的英语小故事(越简单越好)不要太长

A sea lion was spotted this week along a rural roadside in central California. The 300-pound animal apparently swam from the ocean into the inland canals and found its way on to a rural road in Los Banos, California, about 65 miles from the sea.

小明对老外说“I am sorry”
老外“I am sorry too.”
小明“I am sorry three”

Bob is a friend of mine. He always complains everything. One day I asked him:" Hi Bod, how's it going?"
He siad:" cool, everything went well last week."
I thought:" nice, finally, he got something going right." And he continued:
"Last week, all work were done,
house was cleaned,
my neighbors were nice.
And pigs were fed, ready to fly."

http://www.70821.com/type/eng_1.html
来这里看吧.

A Kiss

At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it.
The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech."
The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"

1, who is the richest one in the world?
The river! Becouse it has two banks.

2,愚蠢的翻译
A: r u kidding?
B: no, i'm serious!
——A:你是克丁吗？
B:不，我是瑟尔瑞尔斯！