java通用版:急需英语小短文!!

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急需英语小短文一篇

300字左右

初中水平 千万别太难!!

且有中文翻译

最好是一个笑话

拜托啦。。。

Jilly Cooper discusses her most famous characters

Jilly Cooper is the author is a number of extremely popular and enjoyable romantic books such as Polo, Riders, Rivals, Appassionata, and Score many of which have been filmed very successfully for British television. She is often unduly ignored due to the popularity of her works, but at Bibliomania we feel that this snobbish attitude is unjust and unworthy of an author of her ability. In this interview Bibliomania attempts to set the record straight with a discussion of her views about her critical reception and the inspiration for her novels and characters.

Bibliomania: There is a cult of intellectual snobbery at the moment which dictates that if you sell books, you sell out. This was not the case in the last century, when the most popular authors - Sir Walter Scott and Charles Dickens - were also critically revered. Do you think the twenty-first century will see a revaluation of Jilly Cooper as a popular, but marvellously accomplished writer?

Jilly Cooper: One of the loveliest quotes I heard about authors was: they're too good to be popular, or too popular to be good. You see the problem is that I used to be quite upmarket when I worked at The Times and I got rather nervous about my books, with everybody thinking that I had gone terribly downmarket. There is a great trend at the moment for having a dig at popular writers, which is sad, but doesn't matter too much to me. It's best to be read rather than not, don't you think?

Bib: Do you see yourself as the Scott of our generation - popular, but also making a genuine contribution to British literature?

Jilly: Hummm... It would be wonderful to be Scott - isn't he your hero? He was a wonderful writer and adored his dogs, and he also got involved in a publishing firm which went spectacularly broke, through no fault of his, and insisted on paying off all the debts by writing books.

Bib: Let's talk about the huge amount of research you do on your books - you seem to know the worlds of the polo set, the orchestra, show-jumping and the film business intimately. Did your work as a journalist help you to gain such insight into what are relatively closed worlds?

Jilly: I knew nothing about polo. I tossed a coin between writing about eventing or polo, and thank God it came up polo. I think eventing's terribly dull: I try to like it but I can't. I hate those big cruel fixed fences. I went straight from a girl's boarding school to a paper in the docks and that was very scary. I was very lucky, because I love research. I think it was E M Forster who said that research is the traffic policeman that holds up the novel. He's right. There is a terrible temptation when you find something interesting to just stick it into the novel.

Bib: Do you think that you can over-research a novel?

Jilly: Well Riders took me fifteen years. In each novel, only the tip of the iceberg of one's research goes into the novel. But it's so much fun.

Bib: The gypsies: Jake Lovell, for instance, how did you research him?

Jilly: I was in Putney, and I went out to lunch with someone - I can't remember who because it was so traumatic. Afterwards I went to Selfridge's and tried on some free scent, and took the bus home. When I got back the manuscript had vanished: It was so traumatic I didn't finish the book for another fourteen years. The gypsy evolved as a character, I talked to lots of people with gypsy blood, I read a lot. He was also based on my very glamorous riding master when I was six. He had gypsy blood and he fell madly in love with a Miss Coombes, the daughter of the Manor, and he used to take me riding and I remember one day my pony bucked me off and I was left sitting in the middle of a wood. My riding master and Miss Coombes disappeared into the bushes and I was left crying. That was a formative moment for me.

Bib: We notice that many of your most attractive characters - Taggy and Lysander Hawkley - are dyslexic. Why do you show such sympathy to characters with learning difficulties?

Jilly: Felix (her adopted son - ed.) was terribly slow to read. The first book he read was The Rats by James Herbert, he suddenly picked it up on holiday when he was about eleven and said "Goodness, I didn't realise that they had things like this". So, having a slightly dyslexic child, I think one naturally feels sympathy for them.

Bib: Could we now talk about the archetypal shits in your books who seem to be utterly without saving graces - Rannaldini for instance?

Jilly: Rannaldini is nice to cats.

Bib: But to the detriment of his relationships with humans. Would you advise our male readers to follow your cads' "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" tactics in their relationships with women?

Jilly: I think it works for both sexes. I think women have all torn their hair out over the bitch who gets everybody. People, I'm afraid, always want what they can't have. I know men are supposed to be all caring and sharing these days, but it just doesn't work.

Bib: Girls of several generations have grown up fancying Rupert Campbell Black. Do you think you have created the ultimate cad?

Jilly: Well the thing about Rupert is that he finally turns good. Also, the people you fancy in romantic fiction are like the people you fancy in dreams. It's not based in reality.

Bib: You present a fairly bleak vision of modern marriage, even when people seem to be in love...

Jilly: I don't think I do. Rupert is happily married...

Bib: Not in Appassionata.

Jilly: No, he has a lapse there, but he doesn't take anyone to bed, and the lapse comes back to haunt him. Most of

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

一个年轻的金发女郎在路易斯安那州的深处旅行。有些道路很糟糕,因此她想要双真正的鳄鱼皮鞋,可是又不愿付出当地卖主开出的高价。

最后,一店主“恕不还价”的态度使她非常沮丧,于是大声嚷道:“也许我该出去亲自抓一只鳄鱼,这样我就能以合理的价格得到一双鳄鱼鞋。”

店主说:“请便吧,朋友。也许你很走运,会弄到一双大的。”

女郎咬咬牙,转身向沼泽地走去,准备亲手抓只鳄鱼。

当天下午,在开车回家的路上,店主看到一个年轻妇女手提猎枪,站在齐腰的水中,这时,他看到一个巨大的9英尺长的鳄鱼向她快速游去。

她举起手,杀死了鳄鱼,费了很大的力气把它拖到岸边。附近还有另外几只死鳄鱼。

店主惊奇地看着。这时,女郎抽打着鳄鱼的后背,失望地叫喊道:“真该死!这只鳄鱼也没有穿鞋。”

Gradually it became dark outside. The rain was still beating on the windows, and I could hear the wind in the trees. Now I was no longer angry, and I began to think the Reeds might be right. Perhaps I was wicked. Did I deserve to die, and be buried in the churchyard like my uncle Reed? I could not remember him, but knew he was my mother's brother, who had taken me to his house when my parents both died. On his death bed he had made his wife, aunt Reed, promise to look after me like her own children. I supposed she now regretted her promise.

A strange idea came to me. I felt sure that if Mr Reed had lived he would have treated me kindly, and now, as I looked round at the dark furniture and the walls in shadow, I began to fear that his ghost might come back to punish his wife for not keeping her promise. He might rise from the grave in the churchyard and appear in this room! I was so frightened by this thought that I hardly dared to breathe. Suddenly in the darkness I saw a light moving on the ceiling. It may have been from a lamp outside, but in my nervous state I did not think of that. I felt sure it must be a ghost, a visitor from another world. My head was hot, my heart beat fast. Was that the sound of wings in my ears? Was that something moving near me? Screaming wildly, I rushed to the door and shook it. Miss Abbott and Bessie came running to open it.

‘Miss Eyre, are you ill? ' asked Bessie.

‘Take me out of here! ' I screamed.

‘Why? What's the matter? ' she asked.

‘I saw a light, and I thought it was a ghost, ' I cried, holding tightly on to Bessie's hand.

‘She's not even hurt, ' said Miss Abbott in disgust. ‘She screamed just to bring us here. I know all her little tricks. '

‘What is all this?' demanded an angry voice. Mrs Reed appeared at the door of the room. ‘Abbott and Bessie, I think I told you to leave Jane Eyre in this room till I came. '

‘She screamed so loudly, ma'am, ' said Bessie softly.

‘Let go off her hands, Bessie, ' was Mrs Reed's only answer. ‘Jane Eyre, you need not think you can succeed in getting out of the room like this. Your naughty tricks will not work with me. You will stay here an hour longer as a punishment for trying to deceive us. '

‘Oh aunt, please forgive me! I can't bear it! I shall die if you keep me here ... ' I screamed and kicked as she held me.

‘Silence! Control yourself! ' She pushed me, resisting wildly, back into the red room and locked me in. There I was in the darkness again, with the silence and the ghosts. I must have fainted. I cannot remember anything more.