王者荣耀刺秦之地视频:求个英语笑话`要翻译哦`

我这里有个简单又好笑的
是教材里的

A teacher was asking a student a lot of questions but the student couldn't answer any of them.The teacher then decided to ask him very easy questions so that he could get a few right.
"Who was Beethoven?'"She asked.
The student thought for some time and then answered,"A king".
"No,he was a musician,"the teacher said.She was getting a little angry now,but she was trying not to show it.
The she asked,"Who was the first president of the USA?"
The student thought for a long time,but he didn't say anything.Then the teacher got very angry and shouted:"George Washington!"The student got up and begin to walk towards the door.
"Come back!"the teacher said."i didn't tell you to go."
"Oh,I'm sorry."the student said,"I thought you called the next student."

一位老师在问她的一位学生很多问题,但这位学生一点儿也答不上.最后老师决定问他一点简单的,让他能答上几题.
老师问:"谁是贝多芬?"
那位学生想了一会儿,说:"一个国王."
"不,他是一位音乐家."老师说.她已经有点生气了,但她竭力不让自己表现出来.
然后她再问,"谁是美国的第一任总统?"
那位学生想了很长时间,最后没能说出来.老师非常生气地大叫:"乔治.华盛顿!"学生站起来,想走出门口.
"回来!"老师说,"我没让你走!"
"哦,对不起."学生说,"我以为你叫下一个学生的名字."

哎.打得好辛苦啊.
如果您喜欢,可以把我列为最佳答案吗?

The doctor lives downstairs

"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

医生住在楼下

“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。

“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

附：http://enghumor.anyp.cn/040227092045218.aspx
里面的都很简单/不过没有翻译

The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg ation. "All who want to go to heaven，please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
瞌睡者
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来！”打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”